Part 1: Resisting the World's Greatest Lie

“[The world’s greatest lie is] that at a certain point in our lives, we lose control of what’s happening to us, and our lives become controlled by fate. That’s the world’s greatest lie" (The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho).

The Alchemist is one of my favorite books. The first time I read it was in high school for my English Honor’s class summer reading. I just fell in love with it, and I can go on and on as to why. Overall, I find the story grounding for me, sparking hope and motivation to pursue my own dreams in life whenever I feel like I’m falling away from them. For this reason, I have a special ritual: whenever I feel a major shift or change in myself or in my life, I pull this book from its shelf to read again. I think I’ve reread it four times now.

A year and eight months ago, I took a job at my local grocery store. I didn’t really plan to stay for too long, just long enough to get by until I could get into a place where I wanted to be. I didn’t hate the job; in fact, I really think I can say that I liked it, and I think that I was great at it. Over that short time, I was promoted up to a Manager, and I took pride in my work, still do. I enjoyed the people I worked with; a few coworkers of mine even ended up becoming friends outside of work. I even enjoyed working with the clientele. I was fascinated with the stories they shared with me, the regulars inviting me into a glimpse of their lives, or how the most chaotic, absolutely impossible customers ended up becoming a new, crazy story to share later myself. Sure, I can talk about the ways I had been wronged, taken advantage of, and the awful stressors that the workplace inflicted, but I can’t say that I hated the job overall.

At some point, I got into the idea of working there long term. Whether or not I would’ve moved up the ladder or stayed exactly where I was, I was content. I fell into its rhythm, and a lot of my time and energy went into that place even to my detriment. I have a medical condition that, to poorly summarize, causes me to pass out and seize, two triggers being standing for extended periods and pain. Excessive standing causes me pain, and I didn’t get any real accommodations (and the one I had, I was pressured into relinquishing for my promotion). Some nights I was curled up on the floor crying from the pain; other nights I would come home, shower, then hit the floor. I put all the energy I had to give into surviving my work day that I had none left to give for anything else. I accepted this as my new normal. I tried to “adapt;” my personal goals, hobbies, and plans were placed on the back-burner for later, telling myself that I would return to them when I had “time and energy” and “felt better again.”

I didn’t want to quit. I was stubborn and in denial; I told myself that I didn’t want to just “give up” or that I didn’t have a “justified reason” for leaving; as long as I was able to physically do the job, I thought, I could manage and stay. I don’t know, things were tight before this job and the world is scary, I think I got scared of what would happen if I left. I think The Universe was intervening, giving me an “out” that I had to accept, through my deteriorating health and the concerns of my husband. I was progressively getting worse, and I was having some close calls at work; my health was declining and so was my mental health as a result. My husband really encouraged me to leave; he told me he “wanted to see me happy again.” Those words really did it for me. March 28th was my final day. The first week home recovering I read The Alchemist.

I cried when I reread the line regarding “the world’s greatest lie.” I realized I fell into that lie, that I was letting fear of uncertainty and hesitation stop me from pursuing my “Personal Legend.” Rereading The Alchemist, I realized that I was becoming like The Baker or more like The Crystal Merchant, following a way of life that felt “easier” or was “safer” and “respectable” in some regard, too frightened to take that leap to realize my personal dreams. When I was younger, I always thought I wouldn’t allow myself to fall into that pattern. I think that’s the problem though; these things are always easier said than done. Even so, in spite of everything up until now, I know that I am still The Boy.

The Alchemist is divided into two parts, with part one being much shorter than part two. The first part is about The Boy learning about what Personal Legends are after receiving a recurring dream about treasure, and being encouraged to fulfil it while he wavers back and forth in uncertainty of this pursuit; the section ends with him being discouraged after unfortunate mishaps, leading him to start working for the Crystal Merchant and fall into being content with this life and giving up on pursuing his dream. The Second part begins with The Boy having worked eleven months and nine days with The Crystal Merchant, with the Crystal Merchant being encouraged to not remain stuck with him; and so The Boy continues his journey to seek his Personal Legend.

I like to think I’m about to start my Part 2.